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Sunday, December 16, 2012

My sticky smelly herbal mix for straight hair (?)

Perfect straight hair !!

For a person who is having a wavy, curly hair, straight hair sounds like a farfetched dream all the time !

Whenever I see a person who has a shiny smooth and straight hair I go green. Seeing that damned oh-so-perfect straight hair behaves well even in windy and hot days makes me want to kick something/someone hard !!

Thus  started my lonnnnng search.

I came to know 2 things from my extended research.
     1. Most Indians have wavy, curly hair , but they all long for and would give anything to get a perfect straight hair. Aww…talk abt dreams…!
     2. They all have tried various mentionable and unmentionable crazy, weird, bizarre methods to get this straight hair. But…were they successful ?

I forgot to ask this most important question when I tried a proven [?!!] method recommended by my Rajasthaani friend.

Fenugreek was soaked overnight. It looked kind of sticky in the morning. I grounded it into a fine paste. Added 3 days old curd & black tea !

As per the strict instructions, I transferred the mix in to an iron bowl and let it rest for another 6 hours .
After 6 hours….
Tthe ‘magic mix’ was ready.

Awww…when I lifted the lid…urgh….the yucky smell emanating from that iron bowl made me snap my mouth shut…! I tried hard not to breathe in that awful smell by stopping breathing altogether…but ended up taking too many deep breaths!

I was so perturbed by this time, I called my Rajasthaani friend again and complained to her.

She asked me one simple, but the most important question.
‘Do you want straight hair or not?’

I put the phone down and gone back to my magic mix with a reassured, renewed resolve.
The mix was extremely sticky & gut wrenchingly smelly.

I shut down my olfactory and applied the mix on my hair and kept it for 2 hours.

I started a litany ‘No pain..No gain’

By this time, the entire house started smelling like a big, over flowing garbage box which was not emptied for a whole month!
No pain..No gain….

Dad gave me a pitying look and left the house in a hurry.
No pain..No gain…

Mom asked me not to come out of my room.
No pain..No gain…

Maid developed a sudden headache and disappeared.
No pain..No gain..

My brother made puking noises and most of them seemed real.
No pain..No gain..

I tied a scented towel tightly around my nose and continued with my litany ‘No pain..No gain..

Atlaaaaast….the damned clock reached it’s 2 hour completion .

By this time..my hair felt like a dried face pack .. hard…dry...glued to my scalp !!

I was like ‘how am I going to remove all this yucky mucky stuff from my dear scalp..?
‘Dear’ scalp ? ..oh dear ….!!

I was terrified, & panicked…
I called the universal panacea for all our ills 
MOM )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
She came running .

She gave one look..pushed me into the bathroom…filled a bucket with warm water..thrust my head into it.

After a 5 minutes torture of sitting in that position with my head in the bucket, my magic mix started to lose its death grip on my hair and scalp.

Now the bathtub was filled with soothing warm water. Again I was pushed into it. Now it’s my Mom’s turn for litany …but abusive in nature !

"இனிமே அவ சொன்னா இவ சொன்னான்னு எதாவது இந்தமாதிரி கிறுக்குத்தனமா பண்ணுன ...உன்ன கொன்னுடுவேன் " !

My head was pushed this way and that way…with all the vigorous shampooing along with the BGM of abusive litany.

உன்னால வேலைக்காரி வேற ஓடிபோய்ட்டாளே...நீதான் அந்த வேலையெல்லாம் பார்க்கணும் ...சொல்லிட்டேன் !

‘Mom …I meowed…

வாயை மூடு ! [ Shut up! ]

Ouch !

After another 30 minutes of shampooing and washing with a very very ‘healthy’ dose of loving advises , I came out of the bathroom like an exhausted warrior!

I went straight to the mirror.

‘Mirror Mirror on the wall..who has the prettiest, perfect straight hair of them all?’


My hair…my beautiful, shiny, hair…
It still looked wavy …in fact more wavy & curly!!!

No harm done!... Mom declared and was beaming like a Christmas tree…

Come and help me in spraying the whole house with air freshener! .....With that biting order,  mom left the room with a satisfied smirk !